Scan

Go to hospital for scan today. the baby is sleeping. when i see the scan on the screen, i call out "hello, little fren". the baby legs start to move. the person who do the scan for me, and me laugh.
that is quite sweet.

Weight

Weight: I get to weigh myself today in the hospital after so many weeks. Am now 60.7kg.
Am a little surprise, becos before i am pregnant i am about 66-67kg. so i do lost quite a few kilos from the symptoms.

So i guess a few weeks ago i should be even thinner, since my appetite picks up a couple of weeks ago.
bought 2 books from mph: 1) baby growth week by week 2) healthy eating during pregnancy from novena. well honestly i considered myself quite a "neow" or savings person. these 2 books cost $60+.
i koe we can get these books from the library, but i just want to own them and read week by week.
tink it is time i put some efforts into my diet. i hope not to put on kilos that will be hard to shed after birth as well.

jeff always has the mentality and keeps telling me, what i wat to eat just eat. everyting is ok, jus in moderations. i koe my paranoid self, so am also trying not to add paranoia of any form in the coming months.

No puking for a few days

have no puking signs for a few days. hand-in-hand though my nose is still very sensitive, but more tolerant to "undigested" smells.

the first big accomplishment is tat on the previous thursdae afternoon, i have a strong sudden urge to drink turtle soup. took a cab and take myself to macpherson. i finished the whole $13 bowl of soup and meat (tat's the smallest size). asked for no wine added. ate half a bowl of white rice too. do personally feel good after that as for quite some time i have not have the "eating" feel.
(am at sandy's place on wednesday)

on fridae afternoon, indri comes and visits me. she buys a packet of mee pok fish ball noodles and add chilli. i finis the whole packet!!! and drinks half a cup of sugar cane water.

the overall feeling is really good. though i can only down a meal a dae, it is a big accomplishment to me after weeks/mths.

Travel

realise i need to be in hong kong in december for a few days for end-year wrap-up meeting, talking about numbers and evalution plans. jan 2008 need to be in japan shibuya for region's new year plans and targets meeting for a few days as well.

will check with gynae if i am fit to travel then. most probably will redeem ticket for my hubby or mother to come along as well. heard from the travel secretary regarding company travel policy is that if pregnant women from the company need to travel, will be ask to take first class sq flights. heart a bit itchy but of course my priority is different now in comparison to travelling.

will just wait for the gynae visit and see how it goes.

wonder if i have travel too much. with weeks spent working from home and in singapore, i feel funny and realise i suddenly feel very very free, like a type of "retirement" status, which is definitely not suitable for me now.

baby stuff cannot buy till last few weeks

in-laws have been coming to our house. they have been telling us many times, that we cannot buy any baby stuff till last few weeks or daes before delivery.
for bantung purpose.

MIL also mentions there will be a lot of supplies from jeff's "aunties" as there are many baby stuff which they do not need anymore. will be good to use baby things from babies who have grow healthily. to be honest, i really dun mind. jeff too. so this request we are ok.

then jeff says "i can print or buy baby photos or not?" cheekily. that my in-laws say ok.
so now, we can only do window shopping and happily look and think what we want. but still early lah.

to be honest, me and jeff are quite ok with these. parents do have their bantung ways but we know they are for our good and will not harm us. since marriage till now, what they say, we are quite ok. nothing really very "not meets the eye" among us, that needs to cause arguments or quarrells.

jeff and me always have the mentality since we paitoh. well, rather that they nag or something happens and they say "because this is not done", we rather be good children and just let them do what makes the 4 of them happy. of course when things dun sound too "normal' and we will just voice out. and then the method to do things are "modified" to make everyone happy.
as long as they happy, we are also fine.

Mothers ; Bird Nests

My mum has been coming to my house recently, after knowing i am working from home.

whenever she comes, she will start to add water to the fish tank and feed them. she will always say this "the big big fatties. have your food and be even fat fat". quite cute actually.
then she will see the clothes before. either wash or collect clothes and iron. then boil water, then vacuum and then...... i have observe her for some time and it is always the same routine. told her many times jus to rest, and she will start to move about. haiz.....

yesterday she comes with a 6-pack bird nest. and says this pack has been at home and nobody drinks. since your appetite will be picking up soon but not now, i can drink these bottled ones. she then adds these bottled ones are only sugar water with a wee bit of bird nest.

then she says this sundae morning she will go "gai gai' with my MIL, and they have agree it is time to shop for the "real stuff". i said "what?"
they say we are going to invest in birdnests and take turns to cook for you. trust us, it will be real stuff. i then tell her can don't be exaggerating or not. please do not spend too much. she says should be budget 1k on bird nests from both of them. if finish then see how it goes.
i tell her to give me the 1k and i buy myself. then she says "you though 1k bird nest can eat very long?".

i like bird nests. tried the ones both of them make before, not bad. but the money part i jus feel a bit of heart pain. to me, it is just another form of nutrition.
she sounds insistent. jeff calls my MIL. she also says insistent and says, "dun worry. the 1k we can win back from genting."
haiz.....

Working from home

management have a discussion with me, and thinks working from home will be the best arrangement for me. i am glad and agree.

Puking at in-laws place ; darly toothpaste

we have sunday dinners as usual at in-laws place. MIL does cook a couple of dishes that i like to eat, and i really appreciate that.

as i help to carry the dishes from the kitchen to the living room, the smell suddenly cause my oesophagus to contract unwillingly, and vomit comes right up to my mouth.

wants to go to the kitchen but MIL is cleaning the floors and slippery. i go upstairs to use the common toilet but mark is in there. so i go to in-laws room toilet, and yes, walking slowly due to my spotting condition, and with a mouthful of puke and taking it cool.

once facing the toilet bowl, i vomit. jeff comes up and helps to clean the toilet afterwards. i squeeze some darly toothpaste on my finger to get rid of the smell in my mouth. strange as it is, i feel i like the darly toothpaste. (have been using colgate all along at home, even at mum's place). tells jeff about it and he buys a tube later.
guess i will bring a tube of darly toothpaste to work place as well.

all the changes to my body, and jeff

these changes to my body is like a miracle. i feel it and jeff keeps telling me to be strong.

he takes on all the chores in the house, and he has to wash toilets everyday, due to my vomitting. and he hopes the smell dun gets into me. i cannot thank him any further, and realise he has grow and mature further.

every ultrasound scan to check on our little one, just makes us going home feeling happier. a type of happiness that only both of us shares.
the rest of the nauseating, vommiting, spotting just does not matter, as long as our little one is healthy and safe.

i feel a deeper bond between jeff and me.

lost weight

i am still vomitting after weeks. plastic bags become my needed item whenever i am, even in different parts of the house.

colleagues tell me i lost weight, especially male colleagues.

we talk to the gynae as this is worrying me. she tells us the baby's needed nutrients are all equipped in the womb during the 1st trimester. so u are "nutritious" enough for the baby. in fact the more sick u are, shows that the baby is growing well, and dun really need anything extra.
we said "huh?"
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well, i just listen to the gynae. i choose not to tell and share with anyone partly cos i tink it will be better after 3 months, and also i do not wan to hear 1001 opinions from everyone, as gynae tells me every pregnancy is different.
i also dun go to internet and read horror stories, and add pressure to myself.

so practically i just rest and act according to the gynae's golden words as we trust her.

Nauseous ; Vomits ; Smell ; Foods

right after i am discharged from hospital, i realise a rapid decline in my appetite. i dun feel nauseous or vomitting, but i can go on the whole day without food.
i am thinking if i really wants to lose weight and go on a diet, this type of appetite will be great.

poor jeff. he tries to buy a little of my favorite foods after work. but i really cannot and dun feel like eating.
poor parents. they try to cook nice and good foods for me, but i have no appetite as well

i talk to the gynae and she tells me my pregnancy symptoms are starting.
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1 morning, i brush teeth, and immediately on an empty stomach i vomitted yellow acid water. i vomit a few times later. tried to force some food down though i have no appetite, but i could feel the stomach acid juices running.

practically whatever downs comes out.

this vomitting comes with nauseousness. i realise i am extremely sensitive to smell. whatever i eat needs to go through my nose first. the smell of neighbours downstairs cooking also cause me to vomit. the commercials on tv of food also triggers vomitting.

and i really can go on days without eating!!! but for the sake of medicine, i need to crunch soda biscuits and plain water. yes i vomit if i drink too much plain water too.

i worry everybody ard who loves me.

going back to work

i try to go back to work half day on an alternate day basis when my spotting gets much better. my boss allows me to work from home, which i am glad about.

jeff and parents ask me to be extra careful.

on hospitalisation leave till end october

my bleeding reduces to spotting. in the 1st week after discharged, gynae asks me to stay home and bed-ridden as much as possible.

i stay home and i tink i watch as much tv as i can get to in 1 year accumulated!!! and i watch harry porter series 4 times as well. then lord of the rings, then.....

i have to go back for weekly check-ups and given hormone pills. ultrasound scans show a foetus growing healthily in the water bag. that is the biggest relief to us.

gynae cannot explain the reason of the bleeding, and says perhaps it is implantation bleeding.

hospitalised and discharged

i am hospitalised for a few days and given hospitalisation leave.
the time spent is, yes, entirely boring.

reasons: 1) at this moment, only our 4 parents and us in the family circle know about my pregnancy (in the official way), not even our siblings. so my visitors are only 5 people. :)
we intend to tell our parents later, in a lighter manner to make them happy upon hearing the news. having to know the news in such a situation makes them worry.
but their care and concern makes me feel loved, and i realise how blessed i am.

(the other people who only knows about my pregnancy is 1) my boss, as i need to stop my travelling 2) indri and roy in my 1 circle of close frens. that is by chance. for indri's case is because she ask me if i want to carry her baby during diana's house gathering, but i said i can't. she saw right through me that i am pregnant. for roy, he asked me during the gathering whether i am planning for a kid. my hesitance gave me away as well)
but none of them know i am hospitalised, and i dun intend to till later.

2) i tell my boss later, which is the 6th person, who gets to know about my hospitalisation. he likes to visit me, and actually intends to tell HR to send flowers/gifts etc.
i tell him not to tell and keep it to himself, and i dun wan to see any visitors from work. he respects me.
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ths hospital food.... i do not want to describe. jeff tries to buy little foods that i like to feed me.
the little gesture of him touching my belly and talking to baby to be strong touches me, i should say touches us.

bleeding during early pregnancy

in the mid sep 2007 (i know the exact date, but i choose not to note down and remember it):

i experience bleeding at home. i am scare, freeze and feel totally lost. i scream for jeff. he comes to me and look at my panties and my thighs and immediately he carries me and we are heading for kk hospital 24-hr clinic.

i am crying, yes, all the way. he tries to calms me but i koe he feels the same as i do too. once at the hospital, i am treated.
the ultrasound shows the foetus and the waterbag.

am given a hormone oil-based progesterone injection on the muscles on my thigh, and warded.
i am told to lay bed-ridden until bleeding stops.

this is really one of the experience in my life i will always remember.
i would say if u have the intention and love for the baby, u will feel what i feel.

checked hcg level

I need to do a blood test so I went ahead. The gynae tells me my hcg level is very high.

so i asked "what does that mean?" The gynae says that means you may be having more than 1 foetus. i told jeff and he goes "huh?"

but we will have to wait for the scan later to check the heartbeat and the presence of the number of little ones.
we have mixed feelings.

Pregnant & Presence of our little cow-wind

Early Sep 2007, I am late so we went for check-up. Doctor tells us "Congratulations!"
That's when we realise the presence of our first little cow-wind. :)

we decided to go back to our gynae at KK for check-up and further confirmation. we also discuss not to tell anyone, so only the both of us know about this "big news of our little one."

so whenever we have silent moments and look at each other, we will smile teethwide and know what we are happy about - the little-big secret within.